If Only It Were True

I turned on my TV, though it was hard to see
These men who’d be head of state
What a great country, from sea to shining sea
We watch the Republicans debate
Newt stood with his third wife, and said you bet your life
The president is a red
He wants to tax the rich a lot and take your limo and your yacht
He wants to have the bankers’ heads
And if he gets in again he’ll paint the White House pink and then
He’ll hire Chavez as his VP
Then we’ll be right on track to give capitalism the sack
Along with the insurance industry

If only it were true, if only it were true I’d be so happy — wouldn’t you?
If only it were true, if only it were true, if only it were true

He’ll give everyone food stamps and wheelchair ramps
He’ll subsidize windmills and maple syrup
He’ll cripple industries with eco-friendly policies
And pretty soon we will be just like Europe
He’ll shut down oil wells and deliver solar cells
To each home in Delaware and Illinois
He’ll ban logging in the parks, he’ll send the works of Karl Marx
To the homes of every American girl and boy
He’ll abolish pesticides, he’ll be giving out free rides
And free lunches, too, inside his high-speed trains
He’ll start lots of public works, full of union perks
He’ll fill all the cities up with bicycle lanes

Chorus

Watch out, his critics tell, this shall be our death knell
He’ll pull the troops out and end all of our wars
He’ll gut military spending, our empire will be ending
And soon we’ll be invaded by the Moors
He’ll legalize all drugs, give away beer mugs
And hookas to every child — and Korans
He’ll ban religions from the schools, give 40 acres and a mule
To every person who makes less than 50 grand
He’ll shut down Guantanamo, to torture he’ll say no
He’ll make us all drive electric cars
He’ll reinstate the Fairness Doctrine, take off that damn flag pin
And he’ll put Rupert Murdoch behind bars

Chorus

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Sheet music:
If Only It Were True

“If Only It Were True” originally appears on the CD, Meanwhile In Afghanistan (2012), as well as on the acoustic version of the album, that only appears on Bandcamp.

The song was inspired by watching one of the Republican Presidential debates.  The way they were talking about President Obama, I was wondering who the heck they were referring to — some kind of incompetent socialist peacenik, for sure.  In reality, the president is a highly competent, capitalist empire-builder.  But what if he were a peacenik socialist?  If only it were true.

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