If It Were to Be

If it were to be that you were to be with me
When do I find out if mine is not your way
Would it be alright if I were to spend the night
And in the morning, what things might you say
A one-night stand is fine but would it cross the line
To have another one next week
Would I have to lose you if I couldn’t choose you
Is that love, or not the love you seek

If it were to be that you were to be with me
Would I just hold a temporary space
Would you and I be done once you met another one
Would I for you be gone without a trace
Would you feel cut short, another girl in a port
Or is this something you could proudly keep
Should I be keeping score, or is there just room for more
Are these questions much too shallow or too deep

If it were to be that you were to be with me
Would it be a wonder or a curse
That wherever you may go, you would always know
I’d be out there, for better or for worse
Would it break your heart if we were to be apart
When you needed someone and I wasn’t there
Could you find another, and as with two siblings and a mother
Still have the same love to share

“If It Were To Be” does not appear on any albums.

It’s a song that explores some of the feelings associated with being a polyamorously-oriented person in an overwhelmingly monogamously-oriented society.  Specifically, the feeling of wondering when your lover is going to decide they’re done with the relationship because they’ve met somebody else who’s not into polyamory.  So “naturally” that means ending our relationship in order to explore this other one, since doing both isn’t an option.  Oftentimes, the person doing this classic move never really was committed to open relationships in the first place, I’ve found.  And why should anyone be?  It’s hard, on many levels.  If you don’t need to do polyamory for one reason or another, then monogamy is an easier, safer, less scary option in many ways.