Pirate Santa

Santa and his elves worked on the North Pole
Making toys to take to kids around the Earth
They worked all year to try to fill the orders
Then they flew the toys from Portland out to Perth
Then the whole economy collapsed
And everyone was getting fired
Santa said it’s time to close the workshop
Santa said more urgent measures are required

Santa saddled up his reindeer
And with the skull and bones unfurled
Santa went and joined the pirates
For the good of the children of the world

Santa flew down to the Gulf of Aden
Waited for a good ship to attack
The crew gave up without a fight
Santa put the toys all in a sack
Santa headed to Moldova
Gave out everything and then
He flew back to the Gulf of Aden
To go and do it all again


The world’s navies tried to catch him
But Santa always got away
Like Robin Hood with super powers
There upon his flying sleigh
Eventually they got him In a helicopter raid
But not before he inspired many more
To take up the pirate trade


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Sheet music:
Pirate Santa

“Pirate Santa” appears on the 2011 CD, Big Red Sessions.

The Norwegian animator Bjorn-Magne Stuesdol told me that the things people loved most in Scandinavia were Christmas and pirates.  Bjorn-Magne suggested if I really wanted to write a song that might be popular in Scandinavia, I should combine these themes.