It was a nice bar
But I don’t want to sleep there
Like a lump on someone’s
Sofa chair
So I drive the car
To the outskirts of town
Jewel of the crown

There’s a tea pot
With sugar and cream
There’s towels all folded
At the seams
The bed don’t squeak
And neither does the floor
There’s a lock
Upon the door

It’s like paradise
There’s so much we could do
It’s got everything a man could want
Except for you

There’s a shower
It’s en suite
There’s a nice clean
Toilet seat
Plenty of room
To play guitar
There’s a phone, a desk
Here we are

Except the only pair here
Is a single pair of shoes
It’s got everything a man could want
Except for you

Checkout’s tomorrow
At eleven
You can order breakfast
There’s your picture
Long and lean
There upon my
Laptop screen

And all I can say
Is boo hoo hoo
‘Cause it’s got everything a man could want
Except for you

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“Travelodge” appears on the 2009 CD, Ten Thousand Miles Away.

This song is not meant to be an advertisement for any hotel chain, contrary to some people’s impressions.  Or, to put it another way, if my descriptions in this song attract you to the idea of staying in a hotel, then you’re probably homeless to begin with, or are otherwise inclined to be content with anything with a roof on top.  In any case, what this is is a love song, about being alone in a hotel room, and not wanting to be alone.  Which is actually how I feel most of the time I’m alone in a hotel room.  Tribal creature, I guess.