Don’t Fall Into the Toilet

When I was a little kid
I was kinda small
A bit bigger than a grasshopper
Maybe two feet tall
So when I had to use the john
I’d get up with a hop
Plant my feet upon the toilet seat
And I’d squat on top

This usually worked just fine
But one day I ate some spicy curry
And to get on that toilet
I was in a hurry
I jumped onto the toilet
Things were coming along just swell
But then — oops — I lost my balance
And suddenly I fell

Don’t fall into the toilet
It’s not where you want to be
Don’t fall into the toilet
When it is filled with pee
Don’t fall into the toilet
Whatever else you do
Don’t fall into the toilet
When it’s full of poo

Well I like to play in water
Oh yes for goodness’ sake
The ocean or a river
A hot tub or a lake
But if you want to take a swim
I’d try hard to avoid
Swimming in the water
Where your poop has been deployed


Well if you like to splash around
Then you and I agree
You can splash inside the bath tub
Or in the deep blue sea
But listen to me, people
One important rule
Don’t go splashing in the same place
You deposited your stool


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Sheet music:
Don’t Fall Into the Toilet

“Don’t Fall Into the Toilet” first appeared on the 2008 children’s CD, Har Har Har.

Turns out that kids really like songs about poop. Or farts, boogers or other bodily functions.